Convexed
i went to vj's choir concert last night! andy was kind enough to give me free tickets. weird story after that, tania wanted to go so i offered her a ticket, but kelvin came too cause he was afraid she'd cheat on him HAHA so he snuck in after the first item.
the performance was good. was particularly impressed by irvins solo, and his green shirt. and karen acting bimbo was amusing, though when hoon was doing it it seemed quite natural.
hightlight of the night i saw grace there with randall and i think they saw me too but i wasn't doing anything scandallous besides trying to steal kelvins gf(oops! jk). probably explains why they disappeared during the intermission(to make out perhaps?) and hurried off at the end. but i think it's good that they're loving. they both seem happier that way
decided i don't want to go overseas this year because it would involve spending a lot of money and that wouldn't be too good for the family.
the below section is intended for friends only. thanks.
i think my parents are heroes. they refuse to tell me what's happening to my brother but i suspect from the way they're behaving, prospects are bleak for him. they've been telling me to treat him like it's gonna be one of his last days. i cannot recall how many times my mum has told me bad news. he recently had a blood clot in his head. an epileptic seizure. he was acting all possessed-like at home. something you'd only see on the exorcist. he couldnt recognise some of us and kept saying that he could see everyone dying, including himself. which wasn't too comforting. he's on more drugs now so it's improved, but he's really slow now.
my parents have found outputs for their frustrations but i've yet to find mine. maybe i'm being all egotistical when i tell people i'm fine, everything's fine, to the extent that i fool myself into believing i am, but i can't keep doing that. very soon i might not have a brother and i don't think i realise how serious that might be.
i've never lost a loved one and i wish someone could tell me what it's like so at least i'd be prepared.