maybe
i've had so many thrills in the past 9 weeks! my sispec experience although pretty daunting and tiring at first, ended up pretty smooth-sailing for me, especially towards the end(due to dengue).
amidst all the depression, lethargy, injury, exhaustion, and unforgiving mishaps, i realise that i've actually managed to leech a couple of memorable moments.
firing the matador(anti-tank missile) and M203(grenade launcher)
running, and then running some more. (the joy came only in completing the targeted distances, running was hell)
and most of all, being priviledged to meet many new individuals, who are so like minded, yet different; and be able to see a brotherhood-like bond being formed, all within such a short frame of time..
at the same time, dengue let me realise who i can really depend on. similarly, it highlighted those who'd kick me when i'm down. literally and figuratively.
maybe the army is doing me good. by making people like myself more aware to our surroundings we can become more whole.
maybe.
girls for the army?
maybe.
#edit# on hindsight, i've come to realise that the army hasnt really helped me grow, but rather, the people that were there suffering with me.
there was always someone to talk to about the matador's recoil; who actually understood it, someone to pat me on the back after a tiring run, someone to rant to about the inefficiency of our superiors.
all in all, someone who's truly interested in what i, the NS man has to say about what i do and what i think about it.